I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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