i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
