he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize