My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
