I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
