Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
