Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
