why didn't you poke me back
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
