My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
