How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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