I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
