ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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