you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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