And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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