I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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