Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
