the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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