dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
