I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
