there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
