Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
