dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
