Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
