i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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