Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
