Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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