No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize