you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
