I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
