Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
