They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
