worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
