Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize