id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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