escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
