The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
