I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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