How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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