Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
