Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
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My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
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I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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