If i come over, it means nothing
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
