Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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