I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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