i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
