After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
