It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
