I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
