He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
