I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
