So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
