Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
