just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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