I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
