Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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