I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
