I don't usually arrange sex via text message
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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