the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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