We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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