My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
